Let’s talk HAIR! Am I right in thinking that every girl wants the hair she doesn't have, at least at some point in her life? If it’s straight, we want curls. If it’s long, we want short. If we’re blonde, we wanna be brunette. The cool thing is, with all the modern day hair technology we can basically have whatever style/color/length of hair we want.
I didn’t start really playing with my hair until right before college. My fabulous hair stylist at the time showed me the wonder of highlights, and I’ve been hooked ever since. I’ve had an asymmetrical bob, dark brown hair, super long extensions, and now – as of a couple days ago – I have pink and blonde hair.
But what I really want to talk about is how I’ve finally got the hair cut and color that feels like me, and how – for years now – my hair has been a huge source of insecurity.
It sounds lame, I know. After all, it’s just hair. But hair is an integral part of the feminine stereotype as well as the “sexy” stereotype.
I mean, how many Victoria’s Secret models do you see with bobs or pixies? Not many, I can tell you that. Our society is obsessed with long, thick, flowing locks. And while celebrities and models have easy access to this sort of hair through extensions, the normal woman can’t just drop a couple thousand dollars on pieces of hair.
So, here comes my confession – I’m that girl who spent a good chunk of her rent money (aka ALL of it) on extensions. I’ve always had super thin hair that refuses to grow much past my collarbones. I’ve always envied girls with beautiful, long hair – I completely bought into the idea that long hair equals sexual prowess and desirability. I finally broke down and bought myself some extensions about two years ago, and, since then, I’ve almost always worn them. I got so used to wearing them, and believing that my luxurious coif played a role in my beauty – and my worth – that whenever I didn’t have them in, I felt terrible about myself. I equated my natural, short hair with a lack of femininity. My extensions made me feel like a super model, my actual hair made me feel like a boy.
For the past four months, I’ve toyed with the idea of changing my hair. I’ve been battling and overcoming a lot of insecurities, and really questioning the stereotypes and societal ideals that I’ve bought into for so long. I’ve met some wonderful women who are seriously ROCKING short hair, and they’ve helped me realize that femininity, sexiness and all around self-worth have absolutely nothing to do with the length of one’s hair. One friend mentioned that, in France, super short hair is considered the epitome of female sexiness. And - side note - I'm in no way trying to bash long hair, I simply want to share my experiences with an insecurity I feel a lot of women deal with. No matter your style/length/etc., hair has become such an integral part of the female stereotype that it inevitably effects most of us. But, what I’ve ultimately come to realize is that, whether your hair is long or short, brown or blonde or blue, it’s all about how you view yourself and feeling confident and happy with your unique look and style.
This past week I began to feel very strongly about getting a hair cut. It just felt like something I needed to do – for me. And so, I made an appointment, went in, and walked out with one of the best haircuts and colors I’ve ever had.
It’s short and a tad asymmetrical, blonde with streaks of baby pink and coral in the front and in the bangs. And I absolutely LOVE it. As soon as I saw the finished look, I felt my look line up with my personality. And that made me feel feminine and sexy and adorable and quirky and a little bit rock and roll. I know it’s just a haircut, but I’ve felt empowered since I started rocking my new look. And yeah, the pink is kick-ass. But the best part is that I’ve made a step in overcoming my obsession with fitting a certain mold of beauty and sexuality. I’ve never felt prettier or sexier than I do right now (and I’m sitting on my couch wearing sweat pants and rocking tiny Miley Cyrus top knot buns). I still have a soft spot for my extensions – and I definitely plan on continuing to wear them from time to time. But wearing them now seems like a fun way to change my look, as opposed to fulfilling my negative idea of attractiveness. Girls with long hair – you look fabulous. Ladies with short hair – you look fabulous. And all ladies - f you’re thinking about changing your look, my advice is to go for it! Do what will make you happy – after all, being happy is the truest form of beauty