It's My Birthday!! Eep!!

You guys…it's official…I'm 25!!

Yep, today is my birthday and I'm 1/4 of a decade old!  Eek!  Actually, I'm really excited about turning 25, it's going to be an amazing year!

I can't help but keep thinking about just how far I've come in a year.  One year ago today my life was sort of a mess.  I had an amazing boyfriend, an adorable puppy, and was living in the city of my dreams writing everyday, but I was on the verge of fucking it all up.  I struggled daily with my body, my image, and my self-worth.  I was partaking in some pretty questionable behaviors, and putting myself in some extremely dangerous situations.  On August 6th 2013, everything blew up in my face.  What should have been an amazing, special day ended in tears and panic.  I was on the verge of loosing everything - my relationship, my friendships, my dreams.  It was the worst day of my entire life.

But it was also the day that changed everything.  I had a major break down that night; my past, my fears, and my insecurities all came spilling up and out.  And I had no choice but to face them.  It was scary, anxiety-inducing, and overwhelming.  But, in the midst of the chaos, I realized a couple of amazing things that day.  One, that I had a man in my life who was willing to accept and love me unconditionally.  He could have walked away - he had every right to walk away.  But he didn't.  He held me on the bedroom floor as I sobbed uncontrollably, and he has supported me ever since.  Two, I was reminded that I have the most amazing friends and family - a network of loved ones who don't judge me, and stand beside me through thick and thin.  And third, I truly began to understand that something needed to change.  I realized that the way I was treating myself was so incredibly unhealthy.  I had no self-confidence, no self-respect, and no self-love.  I realized that many of the decisions I was making were for the wrong reasons.  I realized that my past - that the things I've been through and struggled with - didn't have to define me.  I didn't have to be a victim or a statistic or a stereotype.  I realized that I was worth loving, and that I needed to love myself first and foremost.  

I began to embrace feminism, started this blog, and finally began my journey toward self-love one year ago.  And I can honestly, 100% say that - this year - I'm in a completely different place and that I'm 1,000,000 times happier and more me.

So here's to 25 - to another year of growth, adventure, and learning to love.  Here's to spending time with the people who mean the most to me, and to making new friends.  Here's to running and writing and snuggling and laughing and making my dreams come true.  And here's to you - everyone who's been on this journey with me and taken the time to read this blog.  I love you, and I can't wait to spend this year with all of you!