Meghan Trainer's "Dear Future Husband" is making me angry

Meghan Trainer just continues to disappoint me, and it’s so damn frustrating!  Here’s a vivacious, beautiful, talented gal who could really create some amazing change in the music industry, but instead chooses to release songs that do more damage than good to the world of women.

I’m going to be brutally honest – I’ve never been a fan of Meghan Trainer’s music.  First came “All About that Bass,” a song that I really, really wanted to like.  I’m 100% supportive of body love, bringing booty back, and all that good stuff!  What I’m not "all about?"  Promoting one body type at the expense of another.  Trainer takes a jab at skinny girls (“tell them skinny bitches hey”), which completely invalidates her message of body positivity.  We need to support bodies of every shape and size – curvy, skinny, short, tall, etc. etc.  Plus, the entire song is about how being curvy pleases guys, implying that the most important thing about a woman’s body (whether she’s curvaceous or slender) is that it’s there to please men.  Bleagh. There are some good, rudimentary ideas in “All About the Bass,” but it’s certainly not the feminist anthem that some listener’s want to claim.

Trainer’s new song, “Dear Future Husband,” is even more offensive.  I was annoyed as soon as I heard the title.  What if someone doesn't want to get married?  What if they want to marry a woman?  Granted, I had yet to hear the song, but my feminist haunches (like when a cute cat gets all puffed up and prickly looking) were immediately raised by the name of the song.

The first line only reinforced my suspicions: “Here’s a few things you’ll need to know if you wanna be my one and only all my life, take me on a date, I deserve it babe, and don’t forget the flowers every anniversary.”

Huh.  Okay.  I like a date as much as the next girl, and flowers are cool too, but I feel like these lyrics are pretty damn presumptuous.  Every girl deserves the best – no argument there – but no need to be so demanding and bitchy about it.

Next: “Cause if you treat me right, I’ll be the perfect wife, Buying groceries, Buy-buying what you need.”

Ew what?  That’s blatantly sexist and generic and in what way does grocery shopping make anyone the perfect wife?  That’s an outdated stereotype and one that needs to be retired ASAP.

Meghan does make sure to let her FH (future husband) know that she never learned to cook and that she does have a 9 to 5 job.  Cool, I’m down with that.  Of course, while singing this line, Megan is scrubbing the kitchen floor on all fours, dressed like a 50’s housewife.  The little glimmer of feminism in this song is quickly overshadowed by the fact that she’s glamorizing a mindset better left in the past.

Onward: “Dear Future Husband, if you wanna get that special lovin,’ tell me I’m beautiful each and every night.”  Also: “After every fight, just apologize, and maybe then I’ll let you try and rock my body right.”  Also, also: “I’ll be sleeping on the left side of the bed, open doors for me and you might get some…kisses.”  Uuuuugh.  This is so problematic.  Lines like these imply that men are the only one’s with a sex drive, and that women are only going to have sex when their significant other buys them loads of flowers and sucks up to their every whim.  Last time I checked, ladies had sex drives too and didn’t have to hear a compliment in order to feel sexy and sexual (because we already know we’re freakin’ beautiful!).

She goes on to demand he buy her a ring, admit she’s right even when she’s not (because she’s “never wrong”…duh!), and remind her FH that he better love her right.

I find this entire song offensive to men and women, and I dislike the fact that it’s probably going to be super popular.  I know some people will say, “but it’s just a song!”  That’s fine and dandy, but there are plenty of young (and not so young) fans of Meghan Trainer who will probably embrace the various messages presented throughout this tune.  Meghan Trainer told TIME that she hoped, “…people can hear my songs and know I’m a badass girl and I deserve a good guy to take me out on a date.”  Dear Future Husband definitely isn’t the mantra of a badass girl, and being taken out on a date shouldn’t be anyone’s idea of happiness/self-fulfillment.  This song portrays a vastly unhealthy and downright unpleasant sounding relationship, and is in no way empowering for women (or men).