Girl Thing

Girl Thing

eating ice cream

a perfect replica of erotica

her bubblegum hair is puffed and pouffed

her breasts perky and plump with night drowsies

maraschino lips and a soft unfolding

stardust on her eyelashes

glitter in her sheets

a pastel pin-up

primed for cake and candy

sugary sweet tooth

and the mint chocolate chip drips

sticky fingers, melty daydreams

a baby doll anime-eyed darling

with a perfect pussy

sculpted from the glamour mags

porcelain and pretty

a soft and sultry

sexed up Girl Thing

man.i.fester

man.i.fester 

pouffed.perfumed       performed         baby bunny face                         man.icured

                                                                                    crimped my  skin sacks  

little princess                                     eyes       blacked out for pleasure              

in the violet hourrr    i swallowed                          the fatal          the femme

i’m wearing a carcass suit to the party

and will bite my tongue       off                                                                                           when men.struation   starts                                                                      

make pretend coquetry           cuntaminating finger licks                                              

mean.while   

dead mice   spill            tumblewetly                      from spoiled hors d'oeuvres

 

i’m tight.rope.walking                    my  [          ]   out             out                                       out

                          rrrip rant                 ravish             panting heat     mr.  havetohaveit

inserrrt yourself here                      

pinkysoft                                                                                                                        above the meat

             i prefer          splinter           inked                   staple licked

envelopes pushed          stampeded

real blood in my strawberry                        jam

now my guns rrr cocked                  grotty in the vag    in    all

in all                            lack  lust  er                        

fuckus  in the male.strom

suck my grrly                         pieces             gagged             re-bound                                          shit myself       and  finally felt  prettier.

girl - - - - - woman (a poem)

female.png

girl - - - - - > woman

juxtaposed on the voluminous

gasp and burst

edges of unmade beds

empty envelopes, peeled apart

lust letters

budding chest, creampuffs

and hello kitty hair bows

cotton pink panties

discarded, hung on chandeliers

a wallet shaped rape kit

hello tomorrow

hello miss sexified, personified

no more milk

dark chocolate and black coffee

kiss the underside of adolescence

woman - - - - - > girl?

black sheath shucked

wait and weep

plush unicorns in closets

one last dance with daddy

before stitched back up

please and thank you but no!

a pretty struggle

a trophy wall

bruises licked

scchhhluucked like stamps

the floor is dirty

hands wet with the swell

lips warm with the friction

too late plucking pink crevices

 

grow up already

 

This poem is one that I wrote after reading Gurlesque for the first time.  It captures my reactions to my growing understanding - and subsequent confusion - regarding femininity and the stereotypes surrounding women.  I became acutely aware of my transition from girl to woman - a shift I'm still undergoing - and felt besieged by imagery regarding little girls (unicorns, the color pink, Hello Kitty hair bows) and grown women (black coffee, lust letters).  I felt an overwhelming need to write something that depicted the difficulty of going from naive girl to grownup woman -  a poem that captures innocence being shucked away.

                                                                                                  grow up?  never.

                                                                                                  grow up?  never.

the rainiest days

Today it's been rainy and overcast, which I love.  I don't handle extended periods of rainy weather well, but thunderstorms are one of my all time favorite things.  Sadly, one of CA's only faults is the lack of thunder and lightening.  So whenever we get a rainy day it immediately puts me in a certain kind of mood.  Pensive, reminiscent, a tad melancholy, but also hopeful and happy.  It's my ideal writing weather (and ideal snuggling weather), and my first instinct is to grab a huge mug of coffee, curl up a desk or table somewhere in sweatpants, and write for hours.  Rain is so inspiring.

On that note, here's my first piece of creative writing on the new blog - it's a poem called 'the rainiest days.'

 

The Rainiest Days

On the rainiest days I think of you

When the LA sun dissolves into clouds

And the boulevard is slow and silent

I find you in the sides of skyscrapers,

Slick and reflective with the downpour

I’ll begin to run – not away, but into the water

Soaked through and heaving

My heart beat ballooning outward

Like the rain breaking on still hot concrete

Everything cobalt and grey

Whirled together watercolor

My new city merging with the sky

Steel melting, slippery beneath my shoes

And suddenly I’m swallowing the atmosphere

Tasting inverted puddles, pale blue cotton candy

And metallic dirt – electric

Your current shifting through the street

Reassuring me that rainy days

Though few and far between

Will always be ours

 

When writing this, I was thinking about about some other version of myself, ex-lovers, friends I haven't seen in a long time, people I haven't lost yet, and ancestors past.  This poem is for the people we think about with very deep, sometimes conflicted emotions...people that we are reminded of when it rains, or when we smell jasmine, or when we see a certain shade of blue.

On another note, I left out all punctuation in this poem.  I have a tendency to do that, simply because I like to leave it up to the reader how and where to pause.  A lot of the lines can be interpreted differently depending on where you stop.  Whether you read it through as one long piece, or add in your own punctuation, I like that it's more interactive.

On another random note - it's my baby Louie's birthday!  He's two years old today!  He's the sweetest, spazziest, cutest puppy ever and I adore him.

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Rainy day outfit - Boots by Justin's (in Texas!), leggings/jacket/sunglasses by Forever 21, scarf by Target, tank by Victoria's Secret, puppy from the planet Love and Cuddles. Long hair definitely comes in handy on cooler days - it's like an instant scarf! 

Rainy day outfit - Boots by Justin's (in Texas!), leggings/jacket/sunglasses by Forever 21, scarf by Target, tank by Victoria's Secret, puppy from the planet Love and Cuddles. Long hair definitely comes in handy on cooler days - it's like an instant scarf!